Saddam

Download

Required to play many of the animations on this site

Still the best home page around!

Spend a little time on this page and enjoy!

What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!

What is the best Iraqi job?
Foreign Ambassador.

Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
You only have to teach them to take off.

How do you play Iraqi bingo?
B-52...F-16...B-2

What is Iraq's national bird?
Duck.

Why doesn't Saddam Hussein get hemorrhoids?
Because he's a perfect asshole.

How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?
Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
So they can see their Air Force.

Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss?
He elected to receive.

Top Ten Saddam Hussein Tips for A Romantic Evening

10. Splash on a little goat's blood

9. Play romantic music to drown out the cries of tortured dissidents

8. Shampoo and condition your mustache

7. Don't be a cheapskate at the movies -- buy the large hummus

6. Have a violinist brought over to your table and executed

5. Show sensitive side by releasing her family from prison

4. "Say it with toxic nerve agents"

3. Sit on porch swing and watch twinkling United State reconnaissance satellites

2. Name a camel after her

1. Ask if she wants to "inspect your biological weapon"

War on Iraq!!

from: The United States

location: Bagdad

when: Thursday, November 14, 3:30pm

Hello World Leaders! Come join us, The United States, as we wage war on Iraq, November 14th in Bagdad! It should be a good time: CNN is coming, and we have some really cool new missiles and stuff. Saddam is totally evil, so you're not going to want to miss this!!!!

If you don't know how to get to Iraq, you can see a map here, or you can call Dick at his secure, undisclosed location for directions (202-774-0471). Please RSVP so we know how much pizza to order.

Hope to see you there!!

George

Top Ten Perks Of Being Saddam Hussein's Stepson

10. For your birthday, you get the head of an infidel

9. People never refer to you as "The crazy one in the family"

8. On weekends, you get to bring home weapons of mass destruction

7. Don't want to clean your room? Threaten to tell the United States dad's exact location

6. Play your cards right and in 10 years you'll be torturing the Iraqi people

5. Unique chance to observe a tyrannical madman up close

4. Big inheritance when U.S. troops finally kill your stepfather

3. Father-son bonding over 3am prank calls to U.N. weapons inspectors

2. You can get first pick of the police auction's seized and repossessed camels

1. Get to call Bin Laden "Uncle Osama"

SADDAM'S SICK JOKES (Type yes at prompt to enter)